Another Year in December

Today is the 9th anniversary of my dad passing away. I don't know if it's getting easier or harder every year. The one thing that bugs me is every year his face in my head is slowly fading. I have pictures of him but it's just not the same. About a few years ago the pajamas that I have of his stopped smelling like him and that really hurt me. It's so hard for me to let go. I miss him so much and I want him here. I still don't understand what he was thinking...or if he even was. He is missing so much of my life and my brother's lives. They are getting so big. Nick is playing basketball, he is an officer and Jordan is playing church ball and working at Quiznos. Randy and I are purchasing our first home soon and we have so many other things going on right now. I just wish he was here helping me look for a house and he was here to help us move and help us finish the basement. If I didn't have the best step dad in the world then I would be in a much worse state of mind. He is everything I imagined my dad to be. He always is taking care of me and the kids. My mom is my hero. She always will be! She has been there for me everyday of me crying and me getting mad and at him. Thanks mom, I love you. Sorry this is so depressing but it really helps me to talk about it. I will always love you dad and I will never forget you. I love you so much and can't wait for the day that I get to see you again.